Perfect Mom and Perfect Chaos


I once labeled myself as an Idealist. Many events have led to the more realistic title of Shattered Idealist. One day I will explain further.

For the moment, Id like to introduce you to my Stay At Home Mom everyday life that is perfectly chaotic.

I mean it. I shine with pride at the craziness that motherhood has blessed me with. I smirk with happiness when I step on another fricking puzzle piece. I am in awe at my morphed body that hardly gets showered in a week. I clean around the gooey hand prints on the sliding door to preserve them. I know this is a time I “should” treasure.

I also throw pillows & cry about being stuck home with sick kids.

In moments like these I can easily get stuck in the “shoulds.” It’s the moments I let my own guilt take over I’m not living up to standards I’ve set about what being a mom “should” be like. As quick as I set up outside “shoulds” about myself I just as fast fail them.

Eventually, I run out of beating-myself-up-fuel. I’m stuck. Just sitting there in the middle of two kids’ dripping noses & a stream of tears running down my face.

I don’t always get out of that moment into accepting it as the perfect chaos I love. It has taken me 4 years of becoming a mother to get to a place where I can accept ALL these emotions.

Its ok for me to adore my kids and its ok for me to hate the messes.

Evenmore, I’ve learned from a great group of ladies & gents over at #PPDChat that parenting is separate from housework. Even EVEN more, I’ve learned that the pictures of a “perfect mom” I had set in my mindseye was outside of who I am. They were some ideal mom I had made up from movies & real life illusions. They needed to be shattered. I don’t have to: be perfectly in style, staying home cooking from scratch meals, volunteering & working out of home keeping everyone on schedule, always smiling, always keeping everyone happy, and keeping everyhing spotless. I can just be me. I can be mom. I can say no & I can make mistakes. I can keep doing the things I love & I can figure what works for my family. And today, My house can be a disaster.

What are your pictures of a perfect mom? Do you imagine June Cleaver or Roseanne? Do you stress about keeping your house spotless or do you live amongst the mess?


About anderzoid

Life is Bittersweet. God is love, the rest is minor. Ever evolving. Incorporating the ancient & alien into the home environment.
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2 Responses to Perfect Mom and Perfect Chaos

  1. Pamela Gold says:

    Perfectly imperfect. That’s my style and I’m sticking with it!

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