“You lost so much weight.”
“You are looking really good.”
“How’d you loose that baby weight already?”
The best of compliments for any mom, right? Well, no.
Here is why, you never know the mother’s history. Has she been ill mentally or physically that loosing weight is not a healthy process?
Secondly, breastfeeding is meant to nurture your child, it is NOT a diet! Why the heck is weight-loss listed as a “benefit” of breastfeeding? Mother’s need to eat enough to ensure their built-in supplies do not become depleted. Yes, even mothers in famine have been shown to be able to breastfeed but Being so skinny Might be a sign that your body isn’t being nourished after you export all your energy to your children.
Breastfeeding mother’s should be intaking enough healthy calories to produce breast-milk. It’s a process, so energy consuming, that her breasts are literally warm to the touch.
Often listening to what a mother says and how she says it might clue you into if she is really thriving in the role of mommy or if she feels so overwhelmed by it that it’s eating her up.
She may quietly answer your silly observation with a confession that she struggled with eating disorders or an illness that she’s been quietly enduring.
Often, I’ve noticed my own whispered exasperations go unnoticed because the observer is just keeping busy with complimenting so they do not need to actually interact. Getting close & hearing others stories seems dangerous to our egos. Too… real.
Don’t get me wrong, I know many of the comments to moms might be well meaning. Im guilty of all I have charged here, too. Some *are* back handed compliments. Telling me I look great when I feel like shit is kind of encouraging but when I feel like I’m withering away from the stresses of not enough food for the kids and myself, “ooh your such a skinny minny” just makes me wonder, you think being a skeleton is a good look? Offer me some goddamn food not a compliment. Lol