I should just lay it all on the line. You might not like me. You may find me intriguing. I am going to complain. I am going to tell my stories and be relentless with “my perception is my reality.”
I may even say, OK, now that I said that… lets move the frick on. I will also respect you for your awesome crappiness. You can be flawed *and* beautiful. You can love and hate the same event.
That’s where the name Shattered Idealist comes in. The bitterness of expecting the best day of your life and being handed the worst day you could never have conjured up yourself and then trying to put yourself back together after that, yeah, that happens to me sometimes. Some of the good big bittersweet events have been being accepted to college, my wedding engagement, new home, becoming a mom.
I’ve come to expect those bittersweet moments. I even am thankful for them. It has been a necessary process to make me a more useful (non-naive) person. Trying to bridge the gap between my old optimistic self & the sometimes overly cynical me’s reality is a tiresome process.
Let’s see where all this stuff, life throws at us, ends up taking us.
The complicated me:
I am bitchy. I am silly. I can be preachy. I can be realistic. I am honest. I can be depressed. I can be overly excited and loud and manic. -I dont use proper English.- I sometimes make no sense (or during baby brain I hardly ever make sense). I am opinionated and I contradict myself.
The failed perfectionist me:
I was that girl in high school who went to church, prayed outside the flag pole, organized volunteering, got good grades, ran cross country, didnt smoke/drink/do drugs, and fill in the blanks with ____ anything else you can that would annoy you ___ by the one voted Friendliest for your yearbook. Not all those things are bad or really none of them are but I look back at my little me and see it as such a comical view of my developing self. I like to think I am not that girl anymore but man did that experience shape me. and if you knew me in High School, i am sorry. I was a teenager, so where you. We grew up in Suburbia so how could we have known reality? 🙂 I am still evolving.
Movies/Books I like:
Hamlet, Prince of Denmark.
I read shakespeare to my babies for late-night bedtime stories. Man was Hamlet the one who had a serious character flaw of being an idealist. But he also was seriously witty so I’ll forgive him.
One of my fave movies is Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, a key scene being the tennis match of humor. I wish I was witty.
The deep me:
My quotes (of myself) <; That’s not too self-centered is it? lol:
“IGNORANCE ISNT BLISS”
“NO SUCH THINGS AS TOO MUCH INFO (TMI)”
“THE TRUTH ONLY HURTS IF YOU ARE WRONG”
“LIFE IS BITTERSWEET. Here are the negatives and positives. (-/+)
The I’m not a real blogger me:
I started this blog because so many of you bloggy bloggers have helped me just by sharing your story. I figure it is time to repay the favor. You’ll thank me for it, I am sure (sarcasm).
and just an FYI- what I say are my opinions- that should go wo saying. You mine as well add “for me…” at the beginning of ever blog post. What I experience is my own. What u experience is yours. See how that works? So u shouldnt be a jerk & copy my stuff. Share and add links but give credit. Any pictures that are mine are well, mine. koo
Double FYI- I’m not an expert or doctor or professional in anything. Don’t take what I say as advise or prescribing or consultation. Be smart and go ask someone who has been certified then get a second opinion.